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Oh, and by experts, we mean anyone from former box-office workers and lifeguards to high school kids -- you know that people who typically can't have sex at their own home are among the best sources for this subject. Obviously, partake in any of these at your own risk. Step 1: See a shitty movie. According to a dude who worked in a small-town movie theater , this could potentially give you away. Step 2: Opt for a matinee, the earlier the better. Step 3: Head toward the front. I never would have seen them up there.